Where This Meets That
You know another name for Santa’s elves? Subordinate Clauses, of course!
Speaking of old St. Nick, you might be surprised to learn that this time of year is one of the most important not only for Christians and capitalists, but also for a little-known minority group of devil worshipers. Dyslexic devil worshipers all over the world worship Santa. Of course, their version of the “jolly old elf” looks quite different from most of ours!
But on a more serious note, three months after discovering that I have my first kidney stone, I still haven’t passed it. In fact, the doc has determined that I have two additional ones! Alas, this afternoon, I’ll kick off my week leading up to Christmas by getting two of the three removed.
I have intentionally avoided learning too much about the procedure, to minimize my dread; I only know that the next few days, as well as the days following Christmas, when I return to the doctor to get a stent removed, are likely to suck terribly.
This will be my first time undergoing general anesthesia. Anesthesia is one of those words I can never remember, usually confusing it with either “euthanasia” or “amnesia.” Funny, while I hope in advance that I will be left with “general amnesia” about the procedure and recovery, I’m liable to be begging Santa for euthanasia before it’s over.
Thank God I’m not a dyslexic devil worshiper; otherwise “Santa” might be all too happy to comply!
Meantime, prayers are appreciated. 🙂