Falcone's Crossroads

Where This Meets That

Computer-Challenged People

Isn’t it amazing the issues that some people can have with computers?

I tell my wife from across the desk, “That’s it, just hit ‘Save’ and you’re done.” Then she does, and everything goes wonky.

When my wife first confessed to me that she’s not a computer person, I tried to boost her confidence, saying she just needed more familiarity with the way computers work. I sometimes take it for granted that everyone spends most of their lives on the computer like I do. Of course, that’s a wrong assumption. Knowing how to compose and send email is one thing, but opening attachments, revising those attachments, saving different versions, etc., quickly exceeds the expertise of the passive user.

Familiarity, feeling assured that you’re not going to break the thing by pressing buttons and clicking on different items is, I say, nine-tenths of the law. Except when a novice manages to break something nine-tenths of the times they try something new.

How does this happen? I’ve repeatedly asked myself how my wife’s fingers on certain key combinations can have profoundly different outcomes from my own, and I’ve recently come up with a possible answer. Not to get too “New Age-ish”, but we people generate electrical fields. Suppose some of us unwittingly give off electrical pulses that scramble computer operations. Call it a “negative computer energy” (NCE), and we’ll call those with pervasive NCE “negative computer energy people”, or NCEP’s.

Cyber-Elixirs for NCEP’s

As user-friendly as computers are becoming, computers are simply not yet equipped to trump the negative forces of NCEP’s. There are only two proven elixirs, in recommended order:
1) Recruitment of “positive computer energy people” (PCEP’s) to assist
2) Restarting the computer

Some things to keep in mind:

– While 99% of all computer issues can be corrected by simply restarting the computer, doing so without first seeking guidance from a PCEP will likely result in the loss of everything the NCEP has been working very hard on (because Murphy’s Law states that problems arise only after something has been worked very hard on).

– If you don’t have a PCEP in your immediate vicinity, Google can put you in touch with a whole world of PCEP’s and even the mythical XPCEP’s (“extremely positive computer energy people”) who are nothing short of techno-wizards, connected on some evolutionary, symbiotic level with computer operating systems. Just google a few words describing the problem and peruse the first few search results to see if anything matches. Even the most ludicrous NCE-related problems usually have some precedent in the Googleverse, and fortunately, most of them also have clearly explained solutions.

– While XPCEP’s do exist, even their PCE can only go so far in undoing unwitting deeds done by NCEP’s. Nevertheless, any readily accessible PCEP can usually determine if a computer restart is required fairly quickly.

– Although I’m gradually becoming a believer in NCE as a true force of nature, I still maintain that most NCEP’s can become PCEP’s through a healthy sense of adventure in exploring their cyber-workmates. Most mistakes can be undone with a calm mind and an eagerness to learn.

May the PCE be with you!


5 comments on “Computer-Challenged People

  1. pouringmyartout
    April 18, 2012

    You had me with the title, buddy. I once reformatted our hard drive installing a game. My wife on the other hand is a computer genius, but every time she drives my car, the check engine light comes on.

  2. Grande Falcone
    April 18, 2012

    To quote Rocky Balboa, “I got gaps, she got gaps, together we got no gaps”.

  3. pouringmyartout
    April 18, 2012

    It is a lovely theory…

  4. Judy
    April 21, 2012

    In Christy’s case, I don’t think the problem is NCE, it’s DNA. She inherited computer
    illiteracy from her mother.

  5. Grande Falcone
    April 21, 2012

    Hey, I never claimed NCE wasn’t genetic!

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This entry was posted on April 18, 2012 by in Crossing Guard and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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