Where This Meets That
Ftoopid (ftōō′pĭd) – adj. -er, -est. Severely lacking of intelligence, so much so that even using the accurate pronunciation of its etymological root word (“stupid”) to describe it provides unwarranted praise. Ex. The 2011 film The Adjustment Bureau was absolutely, unequivocally ftoopid!
Here are five clips that capture epic failure in moments of utter ftoopidity.
1. Miss Teen South Carolina
2. Robbers get “Stoned”!
3. Texting and Walking (and Splashing)
4. Object Lesson on Gun Safety
5. It’s 10PM, Do You Know where Your Children are?
WARNING: This is the first NSFW thing I’ve ever included here on the Crossroads. There is so much about it that’s disturbing (the comments, like “Let me put it in!” or “I wanna see it!”, and, of course, the sparks), but it’s probably the greatest example of utterly comical ftoopidity I’ve ever seen.
Of course, we’re all capable of shocking levels of ftoopidity. Lest I be accused of, ahem, “throwing stones” (all apologies to #2 above), I’ll share probably (hopefully!) the ftoopidest thing I’ve ever done.
I already had both wings and an engine on fire (metaphorically) at my first college, when I paid $82.89 for a pack of cigarettes.
Let me explain. I wrote a $2.89 check for a pack of cigarettes.
The check bounced. This meant $20 to the convenience store plus $20 to the bank. $42.89 for a pack of smokes.
But it gets better.
After quickly “getting my finances in order”, I wrote a $20 check to the convenience store to cover the bounced check fee. See where I’m going here???
The check bounced, resulting in another $20 to the convenience store plus another $20 to the bank.
So there you have it. $82.89 for a pack of smokes. In the grand scheme of things, this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back for my time at Georgia Southern University.
Such is sometimes the price of a funny story!